Fifth Coast
The Last Grasp: My contract is untouchable
Business First of Buffalo - by Gary Burns
The Coastal executive secretary buzzed me. You know what I mean.
“Gov. Paterson on line one.”
I had been staring out a window of my corner office, situated high atop the highest tower at the Coastal Institute. I thought I saw fires on the distant horizon. Maybe it was was my imagination. Or maybe the natives were more restless than I had realized.
“Put him through,” I sighed, slumping into the chair behind my desk.
“Coastal!” Paterson sounded way too upbeat, given the circumstances. Maybe he was preparing to practice a few one-liners on me. You never know. Instead, he asked: “How’s my favorite special adviser?”
“Miserable, as ususal. What can I do for you?” I decided to play dumb, a stratagem that comes surprisingly easy.
Said the gov: “We’re in a real financial pickle this time, as you very well know.”
“Pickle? Right. I’d probably describe the situation a little more colorfully. But I know what you mean.”
“Here’s the deal,” said the governor, “I need a favor.”
I didn’t like the sound of that. So I didn’t say anything.
“Ahem,” the gov continued. “Coastal ... Old friend. Given the unprecedented fiscal crisis we find ourselves in, I need you to defer your pay as my Special Adviser for Economic Affairs until we can see our way out of this thing.”
“Money?” I said. “You want me to wait for my money?”
“That’s right, Coastal, old buddy. Pal of mine.”
“No can do, Dave. Sorry. A contract is a contract. And I have a contract with the state. Ironclad.”
“But we don’t have the money, Coastal. And you’re hauling down a big wad of cash. This is a crisis of global dimensions. Surely you understand that!”
“Not my problem, Dave. Have you asked the people over at CSEA?”
A brief pause at the Albany end, and then: “Are you trying to be funny?”
My remark was uncalled for, I know. I knew perfectly well that the megapowerful union had already turned thumbs down at the mere suggestion that members take a pay deferment or – worse yet – give back a 3 percent pay raise. I didn’t bother to even mention the teachers. There are limits to senseless provocation, even for me.
The state unions can be selfish, selfish, selfish – all of them, all the so-called public employees. They never give the slightest consideration to the common good, even in the face of universal calamity.
But none of that applies to me. I’m different. Givebacks are OK for other people; sacrifices might work for the next guy. But I’m special. I am Coastal. And I want my cash.
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